The Weekend of the Leek Soup

So my dear readers, tell me something. You’ve heard of those crack diets, right? Of course, everyone has, but the experience I will relate differs slightly – it is non-brainwashing (hopefully), it does not proclaim to be a “lifestyle change” (mercifully), and it failed utterly (hilariously).

Last summer, my friend mailed me a going-to-Paris-have-fun book. It was a highly entertaining read, and I recommend it for much of its advice, if not this particular recipe. Therefore, said friend and I decided that one weekend we would try the “magical leek soup” diet. The premise is that leeks are nutritious, low in calories, tasty, and most of all, detoxifying, and that drinking the broth periodically will keep you hydrated, and eating some leek chunks will keep you “full.” Obviously, why didn’t we all think of that?

So I’m going to divulge this wonderful, top secret, gourmand, magical recipe. Are you all ready?

1) Chop leeks
2) Boil in water
3) Eat for 2 days straight

No oil, no salt, no seasoning. And in a fit of what I considered to be pure genius, I chopped up the dark green tough parts of the leeks too, not just the pale stems. Making it extra delicious and…fibrous.

I woke up Saturday morning at 7.30am, deciding that if I ate a banana then and fell back asleep it wouldn’t impinge on the detox diet. Around noon, I also decided that the nice people in my dorm making carrot cake wouldn’t take no for an answer – so of course I indulged. Later that night, at a dear friend’s party, I decided it would be awfully rude to refuse her birthday cake. And by Sunday, I was full speed ahead back on solid food. Utter failure of the weekend leek soup diet.

Of course, I blame my social environment entirely. If not for living in a dorm, if not for having friends who eat, if not for this birthday party, if not for my insatiable appetite…but I digress.

I certainly don’t want to repeat my weekend experience, but at the same time, I feel passionately for the denigrated leek. I sincerely hope this post hasn’t adversely effected your relationship to this noble vegetable. I found joy and tastiness in leeks, in the form of a leek and lentil curry, after this weekend. I therefore advise you all to first fail then rectify.